Introducing the 2017 La Velocita Adelaide Dirty Dozen on September 2. We're sponsoring Adelaide's hardest annual ride. Because we hate you and want you to suffer.

Cover image - Andrew Watts

We're breaking new ground at La Velocita - sponsoring our first cycling event. Adam Williss has created and single-handedly organised all Adelaide Dirty Dozens to date. He does a fantastic job and we want him to keep doing it. We're going to support him to organise the most horrific ride on the Adelaide cycling calendar. It's because we hate you and want to see you suffer.

This is not a race. There is no peloton. There are no winners. There is no timing. Just a trickle of people challenging themselves on some amazing roads. The course is made and the date is set. The rest is up to you.

Be sure to join the Facebook event!

So here's the course announcement from Adam, the master of pain:

In an exciting evolution of Radelaide’s favourite Spring Classic, La Velocita has partnered with the event organiser to bring you this year’s event. And there are more exciting announcements soon to be made!

So what does this mean for you?

It means that you again get to suffer on a baker’s dozen of Adelaide’s nastiest local hills just like before, but this time you get to keep that miserly $5 participation fee in your back pocket!

But what does it really mean for you?

It means that a little ‘underground’ local event and independent cycling website get to jointly promote and pool resources to make this great ride even better. This is just the beginning.

But in more important news… What about the 2017 event?

Keeping its traditional date of the first Saturday in September, Red Berry Espresso will again play start and finish host as a new route again takes us over a brutal course and some fantastic roads in the Adelaide hills. Traversing some 130km and some 3000m+ vertical, we aren’t going to muck around with a climb by climb announcement. This year, we are getting straight into it. Here you go (in order):

Mt Osmond via Thirkell and Hayward – 2.2km at 9.7% - Strava segment
Gill Tce plus ‘The Guillotine’ – 500m at 15% - Strava segment
Kensington Rd – 1.2km at 11.5% - Strava segment
Coach Rd – 2.3km at 9.3% - Strava segment
Coachhouse Dve/Woodlands Way – 2.7km at 10.5% - Strava segment
Ridgeland Dve – 1.2km at 10% - Strava segment
Corkscrew Road – 2.3km at 8% - Strava segment
Burdetts Road (Little Italy) – 1.6km at 7% - Strava segment
Mt George – 400m at 13% - Strava segment
Ridge Rd (The Four Whores) – 1.3km at 9.5% - Strava segment
Morgan Rd – 1km at 10.4% - Strava segment
Pole Rd – 1km at 9.9% - Strava segment
The Mongrel (the dirtiest Adelaide Dirty Dozen climb ever?) – 14.7km at (only) 4% - Strava segment

And here is the complete Strava route

The traditional start of the stunning switchbacks and city views of Osmond gives way to the nastiness of Gill Tce and the aptly named ‘Guillotine’ (don’t pike on the Guillotine – do it!). A series of suburban punches against the Adelaide foothills follows in what is a brutal opening first 6 climbs within only 35kms of the start. Kensington Rd, Coach Rd, Coachhouse/Woodlands Way and Ridgeland Drive all fire one after the other and before you know it, you’ll be almost half way through the climbs.

But now things will not only get beautiful in the crisp, early springtime Mt Lofty Ranges, things will also get rather interesting as the real battle of legs over mind ensues. The iconic Corkscrew, the deceptive Little Italy, and the short and sharp Mt George will all be encountered on your way towards Mylor – a route that is never flat… You’ll be rolling and accumulating fatigue all the while.

A brief stop at the Harvest Café in Mylor? The option is there for anyone needing it for sure. But don’t let your legs rest too long – you’ll need them for the sudden succession of very steep pitches that make up Ridge Rd before the grind of Morgan Rd and the steady, but stunning, Pole Rd, all hitting you one after the other.

You too could look this stoked on life! - Picture by Andrew Watts — You too could look this stoked on life! - Picture by Andrew Watts

But these roads lead to perhaps the dirtiest climb we’ve had in the Adelaide Dirty Dozen...aptly named ‘The Mongrel’. The Lynton bike path, onto Sheoak Rd, onto Blackburn Dve, and up to the Mt Lofty summit. This 15km stretch accounts for at least 6 lumps of at least 15%, and around 15 lumps in excess of 10%. Your bike will be tipping every direction as you point up, point down, and probably zig zag your way towards immortality with your name added to the Adelaide Dirty Dozen Honour Board. But to finish the climbing, you’ll need to tap your front wheel to the Mt Lofty Obelisk in true style…acknowledging your achievement and paying respect to the awesome cycling playground on our back door. ‘The Mongrel’ strava segment ends with your front wheel against it (I should know…), so do it!

Reflect on the day’s climbing with the cracking descent of Greenhill back to Red Berry Espresso.

6.15am - Sign On for a record of all participants/finishers
6.45am - Riders briefing
7.00am - Roll out

The rules:

This is an unassisted social ride. You should have your own insurance, helmet and spares.
Neither La Velocita, event supporters, volunteers nor organisers accept any responsibility for damage, accidents, or injury that may occur.